[MUSIC PLAYING] TIM WONNACOTT: The nation's favorite celebrities.

We are special, Len, are we?

Oh, that's excellent.

TIM WONNACOTT: Paired up with an expert.

We're having our first tiff.

Yeah, we are.

TIM WONNACOTT: And a classic car.

Their mission-- to scour Britain for antiques.

I have no idea what it is.

Oh, I love it.

TIM WONNACOTT: The aim-- to make the biggest profit at auction.

Yes!

TIM WONNACOTT: But it's no easy ride.

There's no accounting for taste.

TIM WONNACOTT: Who will find a hidden gem?

Who will take the biggest risks?

Will anybody follow expert advice?

To work on a little shopping list.

TIM WONNACOTT: There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

- Are you happy?

- Yes.

- Promise?

- Ecstatic.

TIM WONNACOTT: Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is "Celebrity Antiques Road Trip."

Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Today's celebrities are two groundbreaking TV presenters.

Mind your hat doesn't blow off.

Oh no, that'll all right.

I'm just warming up the tires now.

That's a thing.

TIM WONNACOTT: Yes, it's Johnny Ball and John Craven.

Hello, and there's good news tonight for "Tom and Jerry" fans.

TIM WONNACOTT: In the 1970s, John was the co-creator and anchorman of one of the world's first news programs for children.

We'll be back again on Tuesday.

Bye for now.

TIM WONNACOTT: While Johnny was being equally innovative first with playschool and then on shows like "Johnny Ball Reveals All," and "Think Of A Number," making math and science cool.

It's a hover chair.

You're obviously interested in anything to do with mathematics and science in general, and I'm not.

I think we'll be going for different things actually.

TIM WONNACOTT: Today's experts-- auctioneers Phil Serrell and Charles Hanson are big fans of the two Johns.

CHARLES HANSON: Are you happy to meet and greet Mr. Craven?

PHIL SERRELL: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, they're both legends, aren't they?

CHARLES HANSON: They are.

I'd come home from school in the late '80s, you know, in my shorts-- What are you-- --put on the telly.

You weren't nearer the 18 ages, were you?

Charlie, I'm going to punch you in a minute.

TIM WONNACOTT: The 1980s, of course, was when John Craven took off for yet another hugely popular factual show.

In Britain there are 22 million sheep.

TIM WONNACOTT: A quarter of a century later, John's still at the helm and in the country.

Whoops.

JOHN CRAVEN: I quite like small agricultural tools and things like that.

Right, yes.

Anything really involved in the countryside.

So "Countryfile's" rubbed off on you.

Yes, it has indeed.

You become what you do.

Yeah, yeah.

JOHNNY BALL: Absolutely.

TIM WONNACOTT: That would be music to the ears of potential partner Phil.

Celebrities and experts have 400 pounds per team driving a 1960s MGB and 1966 Mercedes Benz 250SE.

My first car was a Heinkel bubble car.

Really?

Yeah.

A little bubble car.

I paid 200 pounds for it, I remember.

Wow.

And I sold it because it was eventually using more oil than petrol.

TIM WONNACOTT: Ah, three wheels and no reverse gear.

Those really were the good old days.

Our trip begins in Ringwood in Hampshire and then takes a country ramble through Wiltshire and Dorset before heading north to an auction in Oxfordshire at Watlington.

Here we are.

That's a bus, isn't it?

Morning.

PHIL SERRELL: Look at that.

CHARLES HANSON: Morning.

PHIL SERRELL: Wow.

CHARLES HANSON: How are you?

- Nice to see you.

- Lovely to see you.

You too.

I think the hand brakes somewhere.

Yeah, put the brake on.

I think you two are going to get on really well.

So am I with you?

I hope so, all being well.

Oh, the hats versus the non-hats.

Nice to see you.

Great to meet you too.

We'll go in this one and you have that fiddly little thing over there.

Beautiful old British sports car.

This is-- this is us.

See you later.

Shall I drive?

There's just one minor problem.

PHIL SERRELL: Charlie.

CHARLES HANSON: Yes?

You've got the keys!

CHARLES HANSON: Sorry, Philip.

Sorry.

- Well, that's a good start.

- Sorry, John.

Apologies.

PHIL SERRELL: Oh, lord.

Thanks, Charlie.

TIM WONNACOTT: So with the motor running, let's head out onto the highway.

Hats in one car and country boys in t'other.

PHIL SERRELL: How competitive are you?

JOHN CRAVEN: I'm-- I'm reasonably competitive, yes.

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

But I'm going to need your help a lot because I don't know an awful lot about antiques.

PHIL SERRELL: Well, you're in good company.

TIM WONNACOTT: He said it.

Ringwood's name seems to suggest a place ringed with trees.

That's probably about right, although the 10th century version of it translates as border wood, which reflects the town's location on the edge of the New Forest.

JOHN CRAVEN: All right.

So let's see what they've got, shall we?

I think I'm going to wait for the corporation dust car to go past.

I'll go and have a look.

PHIL SERRELL: I might be some time.

TIM WONNACOTT: Miller's Antiques is a long-established antique shop complete with its own workshop for restorations.

Hi.

Philip.

Lovely to see you, my love.

TIM WONNACOTT: A fair bit of all this treasure will be beyond John and Phil's budget, of course.

I was just thinking you could do a oo-ar [INAUDIBLE] TIM WONNACOTT: Yarr.

So what's the plan, maties?

Tactically I think we want to try and find something perhaps a little bit unusual.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

PHIL SERRELL: These type of things are lovely, but they've got a standard sale room price.

Yeah.

I think we just-- So what we need is something that nobody can really guess how much we paid for.

You've got it in one.

Right.

TIM WONNACOTT: That bit of pastoral paraphernalia might just do the trick.

PHIL SERRELL: That's a grain measure.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yes it is.

It's an old grain measure from the days of farming, you know, sort of well over 100 years ago.

PHIL SERRELL: Well, a lot of these are French, aren't they?

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah, I think this is, yeah.

Is that one French?

Double.

TIM WONNACOTT: Entendre?

Something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can't quite make it out.

And how much is that?

That is 48 pounds.

This is an 1880 circa.

PHIL SERRELL: Shall we put it on the table just for now?

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

PHIL SERRELL: That would be a great display for dried flowers in a big farmhouse kitchen, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

In fact, it looks really good on this table.

Perhaps we should buy the table.

- You think that might sell?

- Well, it's a possibility.

Let's just have a-- see what else we can find around.

JOHN CRAVEN: OK. PHIL SERRELL: There's some boots over here, look.

Let's just pull those-- oh, Lord above.

TIM WONNACOTT: Steady, Phil.

Carol, are we all right to put these on your table?

CAROL: Yes, I think so.

- Are you sure?

But it is unlucky to put shoes or boots on a table.

Is it?

Ooh.

But never mind.

We won't worry about it now.

Yeah, it's new shoes you shouldn't put on the table.

CAROL: Oh, is that what it is?

- Old ones are all right.

PHIL SERRELL: I think old ones are really lucky, Carol.

TIM WONNACOTT: Don't believe a word of it.

JOHN CRAVEN: But these are quite expensive boots, and nobody would wear them.

It'd just be for decoration, wouldn't they.

Yeah.

You can perhaps do something on those.

Yeah, of course I can.

JOHN CRAVEN: Let's see what else we've got.

TIM WONNACOTT: These two are definitely on the march, but what about our other pairing?

Anything in common apart from the hat?

I think we're quite similar.

I think we are.

I think we're both quite quirky.

And maybe that line of quirk in the field of antique could be the way we'll go today.

Are you-- Johnny, are you a bit of a negotiator?

I'm a pushover.

- Are you?

- Yes.

CHARLES HANSON: Well, I'm hoping, Johnny, as we walk into these shops I can say, Johnny Ball, please reveal all.

And I'll let you search and find, and then come as your wing man and give you some content, OK?

TIM WONNACOTT: They're also heading for Ringwood.

CHARLES HANSON: Good morning.

How are you?

I'm fine.

Lovely sunny day.

CHARLES HANSON: And pretty in pink as well, by the way.

Thank you very much.

Hello.

JOHNNY BALL: Hello.

Nice to meet you.

- I'm Johnny.

- Hello, Johnny.

Nice to meet you.

- Nice to see you.

May we browse your emporium?

- Yes, of course.

You're most welcome.

That's a good idea.

CHARLES HANSON: Thanks a lot.

TIM WONNACOTT: Hats off, squad.

CHARLES HANSON: Wow.

TIM WONNACOTT: It looks like Lorraine's shop requires a thorough search.

JOHNNY BALL: I think I'm the oldest thing in the shop.

I go back some time, you know?

TIM WONNACOTT: Which has surely got to help.

CHARLES HANSON: What a great pair of jugs.

JOHNNY BALL: Yeah.

Can you say that on television?

LORRAINE: [LAUGHS] CHARLES HANSON: They carry, Johnny, what we call the Bretby Sunburst Mark, and that mark is a very art deco mark for Bretby of Burton upon Trent near where I live.

JOHNNY BALL: Yeah.

CHARLES HANSON: South Derbyshire these were made.

For beer?

Yeah, possibly for beer or perhaps-- Mead?

LORRAINE: Oh, it could be for mead with the honey.

Could be for mead.

You're absolutely right.

With the bees on.

They're really quite nice.

The only issue I've got on my jug is there's a chip here.

I saw on that one-- LORRAINE: I think the only damage is-- That one-- that one's worn on the handle.

LORRAINE: That's in the firing.

CHARLES HANSON: Lorraine's quite right.

That would have happened during the firing, so that goes back to when they were actually fired.

So they're always seconds.

So these are always seconds.

So we can knock half of that off.

Oh yeah.

Woo!

I suppose-- CHARLES HANSON: Stunning.

Stunning.

LORRAINE: --we could come to some agreement, couldn't we.

TIM WONNACOTT: Cheeky!

I think they're interested in those.

CHARLES HANSON: What's the very best price on those, Lorraine?

What was on the ticket?

CHARLES HANSON: 85.

85.

Oh dear.

What are you going to offer me then?

CHARLES HANSON: Well, my man here carries the money.

Do I have to?

I was-- Lorraine, what's your very best?

JOHNNY BALL: We would think 30 or 40 because then we might get 50 back.

I was thinking more like 45.

I have to be guided by [INAUDIBLE] Yeah, yeah.

LORRAINE: I want a 40 and a kiss.

JOHNNY BALL: 35, two kisses.

Whoa.

JOHNNY BALL: One from each of us.

Woo!

Go on then.

35 and two kisses.

- Are we taking that?

- Why not.

We'll take that.

- Um, are we taking them?

- Yes.

- Yeah fine.

- We'll take them.

We'll take them.

LORRAINE: Why not.

- Thanks a lot.

- Why not.

TIM WONNACOTT: And he said he wasn't much of a negotiator.

What's happening elsewhere in Ringwood then?

I've been advised that brown furniture is-- doesn't go too well at auction at the moment, so-- No, that's perfectly true.

No.

Ooh, what have we got here?

What is this?

CAROL: Oh, I think that comes from a sea plane.

JOHN CRAVEN: What, the propellers of a sea plane turned into a table.

Really?

I think that is really unusual.

I've never seen anything like that before.

CAROL: No, I haven't either.

Can I pick it up and have a look?

What do you think?

I think those are-- you struck gold there.

Well, all dependent on price of course, yeah.

They're 345 pounds.

Is that for-- for the pair?

CAROL: That is for the pair, but I suppose I would split them if you were-- JOHN CRAVEN: Would you?

CAROL: --just interested in one.

My maths is awful.

I should have had Johnny Ball here really because 345 divided by 2 is about 80, isn't it?

TIM WONNACOTT: Hey, everyone's in a bit of a cheeky mood today.

JOHN CRAVEN: Sounds good to me.

I like your maths.

Well, those are a possibility, aren't they.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

Yeah, I could probably do them 120.

I think I'm warming to this lady.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

I love them.

I do love them.

I think they're funky.

Shall we take that with us into the other room, into our little collection and see where we go?

TIM WONNACOTT: Looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

If that's going to be our big buy, I think those-- probably we need to just forget those.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah, let's give them the boot shall we-- PHIL SERRELL: Yeah.

JOHN CRAVEN: --these boots.

PHIL SERRELL: It's all down to price, but we like that, don't we?

We both love that.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

PHIL SERRELL: We've got this.

JOHN CRAVEN: Now, I like this because of its kind of agricultural nature, you know?

I don't suppose there's any way you can get this on "Countryfile" before the auction?

You might-- might just increase the provenance of it.

Carol, we'd like to buy those two off you.

Yes.

And I think at auction that's probably 30 to 50 quid, which means after commission if it sells for 30 we'd like to try and buy it for 20, 25 quid.

Oh, I say.

John-- would you like to pull up a chair, Carol?

and I think-- - Can I give you some support?

Yes, I'm going to need that.

PHIL SERRELL: And I think that at auction is going to be perhaps 100, 120 pounds at auction, which means we've got to try that for about 80.

Oh gosh, that's difficult.

It is, isn't it.

Mm.

Which is putting the two in at about 100, 105 pounds.

Well, I can't-- I can't do that, but I'll do 120 for the two.

Is that any good?

PHIL SERRELL: Can we meet halfway.

110.

Well, it's a nice sunny day.

Why not.

Oh, you're an angel.

I'm trying to be an angel.

PHIL SERRELL: You are an angel.

JOHN CRAVEN: Let me shake your hand.

First deal I've ever done.

That's 110.

OK. - And that's our lunch.

- Yeah.

Aren't you lucky.

You wouldn't like to throw in the champagne flutes as well?

No, I don't think so.

Sure?

I'll get a glass of champagne instead.

That would really test you.

TIM WONNACOTT: I think his first deal's gone to his head.

So a table and a grain measure for 110 pounds.

How about the hatters?

JOHNNY BALL: Are those cufflinks?

CHARLES HANSON: Yeah, they are.

LORRAINE: No, they're not cufflinks.

They're silver buttons.

Are they quite early do you think, Lorraine?

LORRAINE: There's no actual date mark, but you have got the lion on there but I couldn't see a date.

Let's untie them.

Let's untie them.

And one more thing I saw here that's quite nice-- JOHNNY BALL: Oh, look.

CHARLES HANSON: Look at that.

JOHNNY BALL: Now that's-- that's very me.

- This is very you, isn't it?

Look.

This is a lighter.

Lorraine, we're juggling a few things.

Just this lighter here.

It is shagreen, isn't it?

It is shagreen.

- So it's a shark skin.

- Yes, yes.

CHARLES HANSON: And that goes back to the jazz age.

LORRAINE: Yes.

JOHNNY BALL: Right.

LORRAINE: Most definitely.

- 1920s?

- Yeah.

LORRAINE: Yeah, '20s, '30s.

- Oh wonderful.

Isn't that nice?

And-- JOHNNY BALL: English or would you say-- CHARLES HANSON: I would have thought-- LORRAINE: I'm not sure if it's got a maker on the bottom.

We don't catch a lot of sharks here, do we?

I mean, America-- LORRAINE: No, I haven't seen any in Ringwood.

TIM WONNACOTT: Not until today anyway, Lorraine.

CHARLES HANSON: Lorraine, if I said to you-- may I speak on your behalf?

You may speak on behalf.

Are you sure, skipper?

Absolutely.

Thanks a lot.

What could be the very best on those buttons and the little cigarette lighter?

LORRAINE: If you had the lighter and the buttons.

CHARLES HANSON: All in for.

Only because it's you.

CHARLES HANSON: Get out of here.

30.

Would you take 25 for the whole lot?

LORRAINE: No!

No, no, no!

Meet me at 28.

LORRAINE: I can't!

Final best price is 30.

CHARLES HANSON: OK, shake her hand.

We'll take them.

- Cheers.

- 30, there you are.

- Thanks.

That means the silver buttons have cost us-- LORRAINE: The silver buttons have cost you 25.

CHARLES HANSON: Thank you.

LORRAINE: And a fiver for the lighter.

And we've also just bought those fine pair of jugs-- LORRAINE: And you've bought those lovely jugs.

CHARLES HANSON: --for 35 pounds.

JOHNNY BALL: It's 65.

65 pounds.

LORRAINE: Ooh, look at this.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and another 5.

That's fantastic.

Ooh, and another kiss.

Ooh, I say.

Good job.

I didn't really need you with me, did I?

Yeah, well-- well, we know.

TIM WONNACOTT: I reckon Charles is going to have to watch out actually.

Thank you!

TIM WONNACOTT: Time for a celebrity driving lesson.

I haven't driven a gear change car for about 25, 30 years.

I've been driving automatic.

So if I forget to change gear, will you forgive me?

Do you want to just pull over here and let me get out?

TIM WONNACOTT: Mind the indicators too.

But now for a brief shopping time out.

Cruising into Wiltshire and the cathedral city of Salisbury to find out about the man who's been described as the father of modern scientific archaeology.

PHIL SERRELL: And what did you say his name was?

JOHN CRAVEN: Augustus Pitt Rivers.

PHIL SERRELL: Augustus-- JOHN CRAVEN: Bit of a hero of mine.

PHIL SERRELL: Augustus Pitt Rivers is a great name, isn't it?

TIM WONNACOTT: The Victorian was one of the first archaeologists to explore the lives of ordinary people and the founder of not one but two museums.

Hello.

Nice to see you.

Hello.

How are you?

Good to see you.

- Good to see you as well.

Yeah, welcome to Salisbury Museum.

Well, thank you very much.

TIM WONNACOTT: George Augustus Pitt Rivers, not to be confused with the Roman emperor of the same name, spent the last 20 years of his life living near Salisbury creating a collection that's sure to appeal to John.

ADRIAN: But the museum he set up on Cranborne Chase was actually for educating the local community, the local farming community, so he amassed huge amounts of agricultural equipment from places like Cyprus and from the Far East, which he put on display.

In fact, we've actually got some of the items that you bought here I can show you.

JOHN CRAVEN: Right.

What on Earth is that?

Well, it looks like it should fit on a beast of some sort or other.

Well absolutely, yeah, it's a Neapolitan saddle.

JOHN CRAVEN: A horse saddle?

ADRIAN: Well, it's actually-- well, it's called a saddle but it was for actually attaching a cart to the horse.

That would be a really impressive thing, wouldn't it?

It is wonderful.

PHIL SERRELL: And how old is that?

ADRIAN: It's 19th century we think.

JOHN CRAVEN: And how did he start his collection?

He was originally in the army, so he traveled around Europe.

And he was also fascinated with Darwin and this idea that evolution could be applied to objects and the objects would evolve like-- Did they know each other?

Yes, they did.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, he was a huge fan.

When "The Origin of the Species" was published in 1859, this was a huge thing for Pitt Rivers, and he applied those theories to the material object world.

So he started to think that you could look at objects in the same way that animals evolved.

Yeah, it's interesting.

That's like a stool, then has a back put on it, and then the back becomes rate, and the stool develops into a chair, doesn't it?

That's right, yeah.

TIM WONNACOTT: Most of the contents of the museum were less fancy than the saddle, however, like this 19th century mill from Dorset and this Chinese rice winnowing machine.

JOHN CRAVEN: But why would he want that?

ADRIAN: He wanted to educate local people about farming practices around the world.

So the core of the collection was things like this that showed people in Dorset how people worked and farmed all across the world.

And also how things were pretty similar around the world.

Absolutely.

And that was part of it was really to try and show those similarities between the lot of the working person on a farm in Dorset and the lot of somebody working on a farm in Hong Kong.

TIM WONNACOTT: The general's greatest passion, however, was for archaeology.

And when he inherited a vast estate containing several historic sites he set about excavating, completing about a dig a year from the mid-1990s until his death in 1900.

JOHN CRAVEN: Well, what do we have here, Adrian?

We have some of the general's finds from his excavations on Cranborne Chase.

The thing you can see, particularly from these models here, is that he was a methodical archaeologist.

He recorded things in huge amounts of detail.

Because before him, archaeologists were really more like treasure hunters, weren't they?

That's right.

They were interested in the bling and the great discoveries, whereas the general was interested in finding out, you know, the mundane, the things relating to people in their everyday lives.

He believed that even the most unexceptional piece of pottery or piece of bone could provide vital evidence to understand the past.

TIM WONNACOTT: Nearby Stonehenge came under Pitt Rivers' protection when, in 1882, he became Britain's first inspector of ancient monuments.

It was the first step towards the state safeguarding our heritage.

And although the law gave him little real power, he traveled throughout the land recommending sites for recognition.

JOHN CRAVEN: He's an amazing man.

Would you like to have known him?

I think I would actually.

I think he was quite incredible.

I mean, his achievements are in archaeology, in collecting, in founding museums, and this whole sort of ethos behind educating the public I think makes him someone quite remarkable.

JOHN CRAVEN: And of course, an incredibly rich man, which is why he could make this vast collection.

Any idea how many things he did actually collect all his life?

He must have bought in excess of 50,000 objects.

More than you, Phil.

Absolutely right.

- Lovely to see you.

- Lovely to see you.

Thank you very much indeed.

Thank you very much.

TIM WONNACOTT: Quite a chap, hey?

Our trip now heads south towards the coast and Boscombe in Dorset looking out over Poole Bay.

Gosh, think of a number.

We have spent how much today?

So far we have spent how much?

Look at me.

How much?

We have spent 65 quid.

Correct.

For a load of old tat.

No, no, no.

Get out of here.

On stuff that's going to make us a fortune.

TIM WONNACOTT: They could do with Johnny perhaps plumping for something he likes.

Spread the blame a bit, hey?

- Meet Johnny.

- Hello.

CLAIRE: Hello, Johnny.

- How are you, love?

- Claire.

- Claire.

Charles.

Good to see you.

Hello, Charles.

Nice to see you on this lovely day.

We're here-- we're here to buy one of everything.

Yes.

CLAIRE: Right.

But we might run out of money.

TIM WONNACOTT: Yeah, you're the math man, Johnny.

It's quite charming isn't it?

JOHNNY BALL: No, it's so drab.

CHARLES HANSON: Look at it.

Late Victorian.

Isn't it charming?

Do you like it?

I think it has legs.

Don't you think so?

TIM WONNACOTT: Johnny's clearly not impressed.

But if he can just find something that speaks to him, who knows.

JOHNNY BALL: They're quite heavy.

They are, yes.

CHARLES HANSON: So press that button there and it flips up like that.

TIM WONNACOTT: Ah, mobile phones.

JOHNNY BALL: Right.

CHARLES HANSON: And then you lift up the receiver.

JOHNNY BALL: Right.

CHARLES HANSON: Aren't these wonderful.

Go on, speak to me.

- Johnny, are you there?

- I am.

I am, yes.

CHARLES HANSON: I think this could be a good buy, you know?

Mm, yeah.

I'm sorry.

I've got to go.

I'm wanted on the other phone.

CHARLES HANSON: What do we know about them?

I think these are military issue, aren't they, Johnny, certainly.

JOHNNY BALL: I think so.

CHARLES HANSON: They're really interesting.

Second World War.

JOHNNY BALL: Oh you charge them with this, don't you?

Don't know whether that's charging.

I'll know if I get a belt off it.

Hello?

TIM WONNACOTT: I think that sounds the bell usually, Johnny.

CHARLES HANSON: PHIL SERRELL: Claire, how much are they out of curiosity?

CLAIRE: To you, 20 pounds each, so 40 pounds.

JOHNNY BALL: Mm-hmm.

CHARLES HANSON: Shall we mental note, Johnny, for a second.

I'm making a mental note of that.

CHARLES HANSON: OK, good man.

- Yeah.

CHARLES HANSON: Yeah, OK. And we might come back to them.

CHARLES HANSON: We'll walk on for sec.

TIM WONNACOTT: So one possible purchase.

Anything else?

JOHNNY BALL: Is this German?

CLAIRE: It is.

JOHNNY BALL: Yeah, because they have a character called Mickey.

And when I was in the RAF, I had a haircut like that and I was called Mickey because I had a face like a pig, I suppose.

CLAIRE: Oh no.

And that was it.

They were cruel to you.

JOHNNY BALL: To me?

Yeah.

Toughened me up.

Toughened me up.

TIM WONNACOTT: These three soft toys are by the German Steiff Company, famous for their teddy bears.

But if they require a bit of a haircut-- JOHNNY BALL: That's a hedge trimmer.

CLAIRE: He's right.

JOHNNY BALL: It's a hedge trimmer.

He knows what it is.

JOHNNY BALL: [INAUDIBLE] yeah.

[INAUDIBLE] Yeah, you just go jung, jung, jung, and keep going.

You'll get everything.

CHARLES HANSON: Oh yes, look.

Sponges Garden Hedge trimmer.

JOHNNY BALL: Oh yeah.

CHARLES HANSON: It says so.

We knew, yeah.

Yeah.

But I never seen one.

CHARLES HANSON: Oh, that's quite neat.

JOHNNY BALL: And I love that.

I bet it cuts a card-- a business card.

TIM WONNACOTT: Oh, do be careful, chaps.

CLAIRE: Oh god.

CHARLES HANSON: Let's try it with Johnny Ball's card.

CLAIRE: This is dangerous.

Yes, put that in there.

Oh crikey.

I mean, look at that.

- That is a neat cut.

- Yeah.

- I didn't cut through it.

Almost took my finger as well.

Oh come on.

JOHNNY BALL: I'll cut a corner off now.

TIM WONNACOTT: Ouch.

No, I'm OK. That's enough.

That's too close for comfort.

That's too close-- JOHNNY BALL: How much will this be?

20.

JOHNNY BALL: I would like to do that.

CHARLES HANSON: OK. JOHNNY BALL: Because it's so novel.

It's so different.

Just for the novelty value alone.

Yeah.

CLAIRE: OK. CHARLES HANSON: That's number one.

Number two, I think we'll revert back to the phones, which I think have a bit of mileage in them.

Let's put them in the equation as one lot for the auction.

CLAIRE: Yes.

And then Johnny's clippers.

CLAIRE: Johnny can have those for 15.

TIM WONNACOTT: Cut price.

- There you go.

- Wow.

I think that's good-- that's good value.

And if we put these in the array as well, in the arena if we bought-- the best on the these two would be?

40 pounds.

CHARLES HANSON: No less.

JOHNNY BALL: She's not moving on those.

She's not moving on those.

CLAIRE: Um, you want a nice round 50.

50.

CLAIRE: Yeah, for the three.

Yes, you can have that.

CHARLES HANSON: Yeah, OK. And now you're going to say something else.

TIM WONNACOTT: I think they might judging by the way Johnny's hugging that squirrel.

CHARLES HANSON: How much would they cost together?

If you want those three, you can have those for 50.

They should be 25 to 30 each.

I can't do any less than 50.

No, sorry.

JOHNNY BALL: I'm not sure about the phones.

CHARLES HANSON: You're not sure about the phones?

JOHNNY BALL: I'm not sure about the phones.

I'm sure about the others.

CHARLES HANSON: I'm sure about the phones.

JOHNNY BALL: You're sure?

CHARLES HANSON: Yeah, I'm sure about the phones.

- We're a team.

- Exactly.

CLAIRE: We're a team.

That's teamwork.

You want to be different, don't you?

We're sort of the Brazil of the antique world.

Yeah, we are.

We're quite flamboyant but we can make mistakes as well, can't we?

TIM WONNACOTT: Does that include own goals?

They've not agreed on anything.

So it's all in.

Wam, bam, thank you, ma'am.

100 pounds.

- Done.

- Done.

Yeah, we'll take them.

Yeah.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

Thanks a lot.

Thank you.

Yeah, shake the lady's hand.

Thanks a lot.

Thank you very much.

And give me the money.

TIM WONNACOTT: Reasonable request.

JOHNNY BALL: It's so easy to get rid of it.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you ever so much.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

Very nice to meet you.

That's your eighth kiss today.

TIM WONNACOTT: Jealousy will get you nowhere, Charles.

So 100 pounds for the phones, clippers, and toys.

And shop shut.

It's now time to get back to our starting line ups.

I think we've got a problem.

TIM WONNACOTT: Try pressing a different button next time.

Glad we're not stuck behind that.

Not-- not that we can actually move.

TIM WONNACOTT: We might need a bubble car for them tomorrow.

I wonder.

Night night, chaps.

Next morning, our classic cars are once again up and running.

JOHN CRAVEN: Perfect day, isn't it, for a-- JOHNNY BALL: Beautiful.

JOHN CRAVEN: --open car in the countryside.

TIM WONNACOTT: En route to an agreed rendezvous.

Oh.

TIM WONNACOTT: What's going on?

Oh no.

Stay there.

This could be awkward.

TIM WONNACOTT: Well, someone must be going the wrong way.

Yesterday, Johnny and Charles bought a large amount of stuff.

Hello.

Johnny, are you there?

TIM WONNACOTT: Acquiring some field telephones, some Steiff animals, some jugs, some silver buttons, a shark skin lighter, and a hedge trimmer.

That lot cost 165 pounds leaving 235 pounds to spend today.

While John and Phil chose a grain measure and a table made from a flying boat propeller.

JOHN CRAVEN: What do you think?

I think you struck gold there.

TIM WONNACOTT: Those set them back 110 pounds, so they still have almost 300 pounds in their wallets.

They may well need it too.

CHARLES HANSON: Phil, I'd like to be honest with you.

I do have the intentions today of probably buying up to six lots of the auction.

PHIL SERRELL: Well, that's good.

Well, we've bought two so far and we've got two shops left than I was thinking that we buy two in each shop, so that's us six as well.

CHARLES HANSON: So at least then it's to me to you for the auction, to me to us, to you to me, to you to me.

PHIL SERRELL: What are you talking about?

TIM WONNACOTT: Time to get started.

And although yesterday Johnny Ball enjoyed the Merc, John Craven's got other ideas today.

Are we swapping cars?

I don't know.

Would you-- Absolutely, yeah.

CHARLES HANSON: We'll take that one.

Take a chance.

Can we get in that one with two [INAUDIBLE] CHARLES HANSON: We'll be OK. JOHNNY BALL: OK. TIM WONNACOTT: Later, they'll be on their way to Oxfordshire and an auction in Watlington, but our next stop is the Dorset village of Lychett Minster.

[MUSIC PLAYING] PHIL SERRELL: John, that was a master stroke swapping cars.

JOHN CRAVEN: Do you think so?

PHIL SERRELL: Oh yeah.

Well, I think we deserve it.

I mean, the MGB is a lovely little car, but this is a nice big car.

This is a gentleman's club, isn't it?

It is.

It's an elegant cruiser, isn't it?

TIM WONNACOTT: Ever deeper into the country, Phil's thoughts are taking a familiar turn.

We'll go to our shop, but there might be a farm here or something that we can just rock up and try and buy something from.

Are we allowed to do that?

PHIL SERRELL: The rules are how we make them.

JOHN CRAVEN: Oh right.

TIM WONNACOTT: Hey, Phil's always pushing the envelope, and for once he seems to have found a kindred spirit.

JOHN CRAVEN: Mind your head.

Tiny little shop.

Thelma, it must be.

- Yes.

- Nice to see you.

- Hello, hello.

Nice to meet you.

The Button Shop Antique Shop.

THELMA: Yes, 44 years I've been here.

JOHN CRAVEN: Oh wow.

PHIL SERRELL: Getting the hang of it now.

THELMA: Yeah, just about.

It's called the Button Shop because of the Dorset buttons, you see?

JOHN CRAVEN: Dorset buttons.

What's that then?

THELMA: Never heard of Dorset buttons?

JOHN CRAVEN: Haven't heard of Dorset buttons.

The Dorset buttons were the biggest industry that Dorset's ever known and they were made in Dorset for 300 years.

Here they are.

They're all hand stitched in linen thread.

TIM WONNACOTT: Thelma's even written a book about them, but there are plenty of other items here that might catch their eye and John's not wasting any time.

What do you think of this then, Phil?

Arts and crafts, isn't it?

But I think that's really nice.

A fire screen, isn't it?

Is that copper?

- Yeah, I like that.

THELMA: No, it's brass I think.

- It's brass.

Brass, yeah.

JOHN CRAVEN: It is beautiful, isn't it?

PHIL SERRELL: She's almost Eastern looking, isn't she?

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

THELMA: Yeah, she is, isn't she?

JOHN CRAVEN: And I think it is roundabout about arts and crafts era, isn't it?

It's got some stainings on it.

You think they'll come off?

No, I think we should just leave that just the way it is, yeah.

- Oh, should we?

I do.

JOHN CRAVEN: Really?

PHIL SERRELL: We want to present an undiscovered jewel.

That's what we want to do.

What's your ticket price on that, Thelma?

THELMA: 50 quid.

PHIL SERRELL: Could you take 30?

35.

30.

He's learning the trade, isn't he?

- 30-- - He's doing well.

--I need to-- I need to make a bit of a profit on it.

THELMA: Well, since it's you.

JOHN CRAVEN: Are you sure?

- Yeah.

JOHN CRAVEN: Thank you.

Do you think that's a good buy?

30?

I think that's a really good buy, yeah.

THELMA: I think that's a very good buy.

JOHN CRAVEN: Thank you very much, Thelma.

PHIL SERRELL: Thank you, Thelma.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah, lovely.

There we are.

Look, I'm going to put it in the-- JOHN CRAVEN: He's got the money.

PHIL SERRELL: I'm going to in the-- THELMA: Give me the money.

PHIL SERRELL: There we all, look.

In the tin.

THELMA: Thank you very much.

TIM WONNACOTT: But there is something else Thelma can help with.

PHIL SERRELL: This is an offbeat question this.

Are there any big farms around here?

Yes, there's Post Green Farm just up the road here.

PHIL SERRELL: Where would that be?

Do you know them?

Yes, I do.

PHIL SERRELL: Do you think you could, if I impose on you, perhaps make a call to see if they would be receptive to John and I just appearing on them?

THELMA: Yeah, that's fine.

Is this your thinking to go and see if there's anything worth buying?

If we can go and find a farm it'd be lovely to go and find an old-- THELMA: Yes, that's right.

- Old equipment.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

TIM WONNACOTT: Here we go.

Phil and John's growing contacts book has brought them just up the road.

Here we are.

Post Green Farm.

TIM WONNACOTT: I wonder what the farmer will be happy to sell.

JOHN CRAVEN: Hello.

- Hello.

- Are you Christopher?

- Yes, I'm Christopher.

We spoke on the phone, didn't we?

- We did.

- Yeah.

Philip Serrell, how are you?

How are you?

And you got something for us maybe?

I've got something you can look at.

All right.

TIM WONNACOTT: Beware, Chris.

Once introduced, these pests can be difficult to get rid of.

PHIL SERRELL: Oh, look at that cart.

That's just a bit out of our budget that is.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

What era is that, do you reckon?

I would have thought sort of between the wars.

JOHN CRAVEN: Or maybe before that.

PHIL SERRELL: Bit earlier than that I think.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

TIM WONNACOTT: Not for sale.

But what is?

This is the silage knife and you used to-- PHIL SERRELL: Cut it into the silage.

Make it in the silage and make nice-- Chop a square out or something.

--nice squares.

Yeah.

I think that's probably a bit too rough for us.

TIM WONNACOTT: Well, that's a first.

PHIL SERRELL: Staddle stones?

CHRISTOPHER: We've got-- we've got the things that go up like that.

PHIL SERRELL: But not the caps?

CHRISTOPHER: Not the caps.

Oh, look at that.

PHIL SERRELL: Ah, those are wicked.

JOHN CRAVEN: We've got four.

Three or four.

PHIL SERRELL: Four.

Four there.

JOHN CRAVEN: They are big, aren't they?

TIM WONNACOTT: Staddle stones should tickle John's country interests.

These were formed in the-- what, the 19th century?

Yes, I would have thought so.

JOHN CRAVEN: These date back to the old days of agriculture when you would put these all around in an oblong shape and put the mushroom tops on and then-- then create a base and then put your haystack on top, going back to the old days of haystacks.

And that meant that there was air coming up and it stopped the rats coming up.

These are very much part of farming history.

PHIL SERRELL: I think they're lovely.

How much would you want for two of those?

50 quid each.

JOHN CRAVEN: Oh, 50 for the two.

I'm nothing to do with this.

CHRISTOPHER: I'm a farmer.

Price of beef has gone down.

Yeah, lamb's gone up though.

The milk prices have gone up.

TIM WONNACOTT: Hey, never mind "Countryfile," this is turning into "Farming Today."

Honestly, Phil, do you think they would sell?

PHIL SERRELL: Yeah.

I do.

This architectural salvaging stuff is actually quite sought after.

And in all fairness to Chris here, if you had staddle stone caps on these, I think you'd be looking at 200 pounds each for them as staddle stones.

What would you be happy with?

75 for the pair.

PHIL SERRELL: That's-- I'd say that's great.

- You think so?

- Yeah, I do.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah.

PHIL SERRELL: Shall we shake the man's hand then?

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah, I-- And then find out what they're worth.

Yeah.

This could be interesting, couldn't it?

Thank you.

Thank you very much indeed.

This is the man with the money, Chris.

PHIL SERRELL: 60.

80.

So you owe us a fiver.

CHRISTOPHER: I owe you a fiver.

Yeah.

And we now own two staddle stones that we don't know the value of.

JOHN CRAVEN: And we don't know if anybody's going to want to buy them without the mushroom.

A bit of a gamble, Phil.

TIM WONNACOTT: Good point.

But we've seen him splash out on quirkier items, haven't we?

Not heavier though.

Mind your back.

Now, what about Johnny and Charles?

Two hats in a hurry, I'd say.

JOHNNY BALL: Hey!

CHARLES HANSON: Hey!

TIM WONNACOTT: As they maneuver towards the Dorset Downs and Blandford Forum.

Blandford Forum.

I love it.

I've been there several times.

TIM WONNACOTT: He's not been to Blandford Camp though, to a museum dedicated to a vital supporting unit of the British army.

JOHNNY BALL: Ha ha.

Welcome to the Royal Signals Museum.

TIM WONNACOTT: This should interest a technology buff like Johnny.

As you can, see our cap badge is a figure of Mercury, who is the messenger of the gods.

JOHNNY BALL: Is that Hermes?

It is.

Hermes, Mercury.

JOHNNY BALL: There you are.

It's both.

Same bloke.

[MUSIC PLAYING] TIM WONNACOTT: Communications in war has meant life or death since ancient times.

But first as the Royal Engineers and now as the Royal Signals, the British Army has its own specialists.

MAN: A very simple system of shutters-- Open, close.

--to make your letters.

TIM WONNACOTT: Blandford Camp was once the site of a Murray shutter telegraph station whereby semaphore messages were transmitted via several hilltops from navy ships to the [INAUDIBLE] What's that say?

No idea.

No, OK. TIM WONNACOTT: But it was during the Crimean War in the 1850s that communications technology took a huge step forward.

MAN: This is the single needle telegraph, and it was the first use of electronic communications in-- on the military battlefield.

The telegraph was invented in the 1830s, but obviously military saw a use for it.

It had its pros and cons.

Certainly from the military perspective they weren't too happy with it because all of a sudden they'd gone from complete independence of the generals to a manipulation by the war office and politicians as all of a sudden instead of being able to take a message to London and getting it back within months, it was within minutes.

TIM WONNACOTT: Another drawback from the general's point of view was that the press was now able to use those telegraph cables to keep the public informed about how badly the war was being run.

It was the first time as well that the military actually lays their own undersea cable.

By the end of the war they'd already laid 21 miles of cable and they had eight telegraph offices.

At the Battle of the Somme they laid 50,000 miles, so although 21 miles sounds an incredible feat then, it was superseded by some astonishing feats later on.

TIM WONNACOTT: That cable was bravely supplied by the Royal Engineers, who by the time of the First World War had become the Royal Engineers Signal Service, getting the message through by any possible means.

MAN: This is pigeon 2709, and it is the real artifact.

Real as far as we were.

A real pigeon.

Wow.

MAN: It took a message on the three of October 1917 from the front line to brigade headquarters starting off at 1:30 in the afternoon and didn't get there till 10.35 the next day.

So it was something like 21 hours in flight.

We believe what happened is it got shot, as you can see.

JOHNNY BALL: Yeah.

MAN: But it somehow managed to get that message through and then died on arrival.

CHARLES HANSON: Do they have a name at all?

No, just known as pigeon 2709.

But this is the kind of message that they would use.

So this is actually a real pigeon carrier-- message carrier.

And what you'll find is inside there's a little message there.

TIM WONNACOTT: So successful were pigeons like our feathered friend that by the end of the war there were about 22,000 of them in the British Army and they carried on making quite a contribution.

The first message of the success of D-Day wasn't sent by electronic means but was taken by pigeon.

TIM WONNACOTT: Talking of state of the art communications, yesterday Johnny and Charles acquired a pair of field telephones that would easily fit in here, so what better opportunity to find out more about them?

These two are Second World War variants.

They're called a Tele F. Came in late 1945 the mark two.

I have no doubt these were mainly used in the European campaign post D-Day really.

And you've got one almost identical here.

CHARLES HANSON: I can't believe it.

There's one almost identical in your cabinet.

I'm quite excited.

MAN: That's right.

That one was actually used during D-Day, so they've got great historical significance.

CHARLES HANSON: Yes.

But as with anything, the value is dependent on the condition and the provenance.

If they happened to be Montgomery's personal radios-- CHARLES HANSON: Yes.

--they would be extraordinarily valuable.

They still have a value and these are in relatively good condition.

JOHNNY BALL: What are they worth?

I would say the value for each-- CHARLES HANSON: Yes.

--can be from 20 up to about 50 pounds.

TIM WONNACOTT: Well, that'll have them looking forward to the auction.

But first there's a chance to acquire a valuable new skill.

One of the other forms that has always been around for many, many years was used both in the first and Second World War are visual communications using flags.

We've got a man out here on the field.

I can see him over there.

And you've got a little cheat card there.

And he's going to send you a message by semaphore.

TIM WONNACOTT: Good luck, everybody.

JOHNNY BALL: What's that?

Is that L?

MAN: That's a J to start you off.

You send that signal back to say you've read it.

And remember, it's reversed.

Now he'll start his message.

JOHNNY BALL: Here we go.

B.

A. N. Ban.

JOHNNY BALL: A. CHARLES HANSON: A. JOHNNY BALL: N. N. A. Banana!

Hey!

Banana.

We got it.

TIM WONNACOTT: Oh dear.

Now they're having a go.

Look out.

CHARLES HANSON: OK, that means let's go.

JOHNNY BALL: One of you's wrong.

Sorry, that way.

B.

Sorry, A.

Sorry.

TIM WONNACOTT: Those two are never going to be quite on the same page, are they?

A. N. A. JOHNNY BALL: What's Z?

CHARLES HANSON: Uh Z's-- Z's that.

- Right.

I got it now.

CHARLES HANSON: OK. Z.

A.

That's it!

What was that?

Bonanza.

A bonanza!

Oh, well done.

Got you.

TIM WONNACOTT: But while Johnny and Charles are having words in a field, John and Phil already have their shop tactics finely honed.

Shall we split up or shall we just keep on working together?

What do you think?

Well, I think-- I would like to think that working together has been a winning combo.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah, we've been a good team so far, haven't we?

TIM WONNACOTT: Our route's about to track back down south towards the seaside once more and Bournemouth.

Especially rich in literary associations is Bournemouth.

Romantic poet Shelley literally left his heart there, Tolkien holidayed here, and Robert Louis Stevenson wrote "Jekyll and Hyde" while staying in the town.

Now, what's the story of Molly's Den I wonder?

Goodness me.

This place is massive, isn't it?

Vast, isn't it?

TIM WONNACOTT: Yes, it's a bit of an epic I'd say packed with all sorts.

JOHN CRAVEN: Just goes on and on this place, doesn't it?

TIM WONNACOTT: They said they'd stay together, but it turns out this team has a third member.

My wife-- who is not a professional expert like Phil, but she likes to do her antique collecting-- she gave me a bit of a list before I left town and so she said things like, look out for silver spoons that have got good hallmarks on them, some named sports things, nothing with bumps or chips in it, nothing Victorian she said.

Go for art nouveau or deco.

So I've got quite a list here to work on, a little shopping list.

TIM WONNACOTT: Sage advice, hey?

Perhaps we should have booked Mrs. Craven then.

Still, at least Phil has his uses.

It's so nice, isn't it?

PHIL SERRELL: It's lovely.

JOHN CRAVEN: And it's 45 pounds.

PHIL SERRELL: Do you know what, I'm older than that is.

It might be three weeks old?

Possibly four.

Oh no.

Oh no.

I did say that, but-- We're going to find an antique.

TIM WONNACOTT: That is the point after all.

Now, what about our leading semaphore duo?

In Blandford Forum with over 200 pounds left and hot to shop, at least I think that's what it means.

Wow, look at this.

Oh.

Oh, very nice.

Very nice.

It has a smell of pine, hasn't it?

- Smell of pine.

- Yeah.

Yes.

TIM WONNACOTT: That's a smell of antiques in the afternoon, gentlemen.

CHARLES HANSON: That's quite nice, Johnny.

The reason I like this-- can you see it's got like an orange peel effect.

Yes.

CHARLES HANSON: And the orange peel effect is created by the salt glaze that is laid onto a stoneware body.

And this is based on a Bellarmine and its ovoid form.

JOHNNY BALL: Do you think it's that age?

CHARLES HANSON: Um, I think it's quite early but not overly old.

TIM WONNACOTT: But you did buy jugs yesterday, Charles.

CHARLES HANSON: It's got a few chips.

It's got some age.

And you know how you said to me yesterday there weren't that many things older than you, this one is.

JOHNNY BALL: Yes, yes.

CHARLES HANSON: You're in good condition, mate.

Hello, sir.

TONY: Good afternoon.

CHARLES HANSON: How are you?

Pleased to meet you.

- I'm Johnny.

- Pleased to meet you, Johnny.

JOHNNY BALL: This is Charles.

- Charles.

CHARLES HANSON: Charles.

Charles.

And you are?

- Tony Hunt.

JOHNNY BALL: Tony.

- Nice to meet you.

You're more than welcome.

What's that under there?

TONY: It's an old painted pine box.

CHARLES HANSON: May we pull it out, Tony?

TONY: Yeah, of course you can.

CHARLES HANSON: Would you mind?

TONY: No, we'll have to just lift that off.

JOHNNY BALL: I'm going to have a look at this in a minute.

CHARLES HANSON: May we lift your end up?

TONY: Yep, of course you can.

JOHNNY BALL: Is it not a-- is that not a croquet chest or something?

No, it's bigger than a croquet one.

Too big, isn't it?

Too big.

And it was lockable at one time.

TONY: Yeah.

CHARLES HANSON: It's quite early.

The label-- we can't quite make out a date or whether it was some sort of traveling trunk maybe overseas or-- TONY: Yeah.

Oh I can just see-- can see that?

It says GNR.

JOHNNY BALL: GNR, Great Northern Railway.

CHARLES HANSON: Correct.

TONY: Great Northern Railway.

CHARLES HANSON: So I think it's perhaps a railway [INAUDIBLE] Yes.

That's quite good.

Yeah.

CHARLES HANSON: I quite like that.

TIM WONNACOTT: Charles is taking over here a bit I think.

How much would it be?

How about if I said 20 pounds.

CHARLES HANSON: What's it worth, Johnny?

I'm not keen on it, so I would say for me a fiver.

CHARLES HANSON: Oh crikey.

Would you take 10 pounds for it?

Why not.

Who not.

CHARLES HANSON: Ooh!

Shall we buy it?

JOHNNY BALL: No.

No, I don't think so.

- I'd like to buy it, Johnny.

- Oh right.

Yeah, yeah.

Right, we're having our first tiff.

Yeah, we are.

TIM WONNACOTT: Come on, you two.

Think like a team.

No I and all that.

JOHNNY BALL: What about this?

Look.

Now this I think is absolutely beautiful.

And I don't know what it is, but that's a clamp for a table or a bench.

Yes.

And that goes on there.

That-- you feed-- either sausages come out of there-- CHARLES HANSON: Oranges.

JOHNNY BALL: Or-- Oranges.

Oranges wouldn't come out of there.

It's not big enough.

I think it-- as it says on the actual cast iron.

TONY: Marmalade.

CHARLES HANSON: The universal marmalade cutter.

You've got radar eyes, you have.

TIM WONNACOTT: He keeps them peeled certainly Johnny.

So you'd quarter the oranges first?

Got you.

You'd do it that way into four slices.

Then perhaps have a piece of wood about the same size to bung them in to keep that, and then this goes-- what happens to this?

CHARLES HANSON: So that-- TONY: That just slides across and slices off.

JOHNNY BALL: Oh.

Oh it slices off.

Have we got a price on this?

Have we got-- 25 on that.

25 on that.

Would you take 15 for it?

TONY: How about if we said 30 for the two.

CHARLES HANSON: I love the box.

We can't put those in the same lot.

They're so unlike each other.

They are.

They are.

And I think we might have too many lots.

TIM WONNACOTT: Let's leave those two scratching their heads and see how the opposition are faring.

Here I is.

I just found that down there.

JOHN CRAVEN: Oh, I saw that earlier.

It's early 19th century.

Molded half columns.

These are called bell push moldings-- JOHN CRAVEN: Mm-hmm.

PHIL SERRELL: --because they're like a bell push.

That at auction is going to make 30 to 50 quid.

How much is on that?

48.

PHIL SERRELL: This is a bit of brown furniture.

JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah, I was told no brown furniture-- PHIL SERRELL: Well-- JOHN CRAVEN: --and no Victorian furniture.

Have a look on that list again.

Did it say mirrors?

What does the list say?

Mirrors?

JOHN CRAVEN: No, it doesn't say mirrors.

It's not-- PHIL SERRELL: She's not on the phone at the minute?

Could phone her, could we?

Just ask her what she thinks about mirrors.

JOHN CRAVEN: Well.

Or shall we just take a risk and-- JOHN CRAVEN: Yeah, we'll take a risk.

PHIL SERRELL: OK. JOHN CRAVEN: So 48 pounds, Beverly.

What-- what will you accept on this one?

Um, just give us a second.

I'll come back to you, John.

PHIL SERRELL: We'll continue to have a look, all right?

OK, yes.

PHIL SERRELL: Can I leave that there?

Yeah.

Thank you.

PHIL SERRELL: Thank you.

Don't let anybody take it, will you?

TIM WONNACOTT: Very civilized.

Any news on Johnny and Charles's dilemma?

CHARLES HANSON: Shall we buy the box?

If you-- look, you are the boss in the end.

I've only got the money.

I'm your-- I'm your money turnover man, and I'm going to say we'll buy the box, OK?

- Yeah.

Shake the man's hand.

Shake his hand.

Take that.

Thanks a lot.

TIM WONNACOTT: So one box for 10 pounds, but what will go with it?

Johnny wants the marmalade cutter for 20 pounds, but Charles prefers the cider jug for the same price.

Johnny's taking a lot of convincing though.

CHARLES HANSON: I would love to buy the jug.

If it's about making money, I think that will give us another yield.

But it's just trying to-- JOHNNY BALL: Would it really?

Yes I-- yes it would.

- The jug?

- Yeah.

So we're not having the other two.

We'll take the box and the jug.

We're taking the box and the jug.

And make a little licorice all sort lot for the auction.

We're not making marmalade.

We have to buy marmalade.

CHARLES HANSON: Correct.

Look at me.

I'm looking at you.

I can't believe what you're saying.

Look at me.

I can't believe what you're doing with our money.

So that's an attractive jug.

Yeah.

And that's an attractive box.

- Yes.

- Really?

And we go, go, go.

JOHNNY BALL: Really?

TIM WONNACOTT: I think this is all about to kick off.

It begins with S, but it's not smart.

It's stupid.

What did you say, spenders?

The marmalade cutter will make money.

It will make money.

I would definitely take the jug and the box.

Right.

CHARLES HANSON: OK. Have you got boxing gloves?

TONY: No.

TIM WONNACOTT: Steady on, Johnny.

I don't think I can agree to this because-- because when you put the two together, you will devalue both.

CHARLES HANSON: That box we bought, and I think it will triple its price.

I think I'll make 30 pounds plus all day long.

JOHNNY BALL: So marmalade cutter and the box.

CHARLES HANSON: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Marmalade cutter and the box going once, going twice.

CHARLES HANSON: But not the jug?

JOHNNY BALL: But not the jug.

CHARLES HANSON: No.

I don't want to, but go on.

I'll take it because you're the man.

- Thank you very much.

- You're the man.

Thank you very much.

We'll take it.

JOHNNY BALL: There's one for you.

TONY: Thank you.

JOHNNY BALL: Two for you.

Three for you.

- Thank you very much.

- Thanks a lot.

- Thanks for keeping out of it.

That was very good.

- That's no problem.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

TIM WONNACOTT: Compromise pulled off, but what a fuss over 20 pounds, hey?

Bye.

TONY: All done for ya.

Sorry.

TIM WONNACOTT: Back in Bournemouth, John and Phil have got a deal for 25 pounds on their mirror.

Best price 25 pounds.

25.

You're an angel.

Would you go for that?

Yeah, absolutely.

TIM WONNACOTT: Plus they found a cribbage set with a ticket price of 35 pounds and this.

PHIL SERRELL: The only reason why I like mandolin is because I am of a certain age.

Mike Oldfield, "Tubular Bells," mandolin.

- I know.

- Mandolin.

- Mandolin.

- Yeah.

And I can't play it.

How much is that?

That is 55 pounds.

This is circa 1900.

This looks like it's satin wood and mahogany.

I mean, I wouldn't want to go and make that for 50 quid, would you?

JOHN CRAVEN: No.

These things are by and large Neapolitan.

And how do they go at auctions, this kind of instrument?

Well, I actually sold a mandolin last week for nearly 1,500 pounds.

Oh really, we're buying this one then.

But it wasn't that one.

TIM WONNACOTT: So what's it to be?

These two are so of one mind that Phil's let John do the deal.

I'm torn between these two, so what's the best price on both?

OK, we can do 35 on the mandolin.

That's down 20.

And 20 on the crib set.

All right.

As much as I like the cribbage set, I think that this is probably going to sell better in the auction.

That is the very lowest, is it?

35?

Yes, I'm afraid it is.

OK, you've got a deal.

35.

Plus I'll take the mirror as well, and that was 25, wasn't it?

25 and 35.

So 30-- makes 60.

60 pounds.

60 pounds.

There we are.

- Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Deal's done.

I'll take my mandolin and go play.

TIM WONNACOTT: Not yet, John.

No swimming either because with the last deal done it's time to see what's been bought.

3, 2, 1.

Up and away.

Look at that.

Wow.

CHARLES HANSON: John Craven, look at that.

What is it?

JOHNNY BALL: It's a chest.

It was a railway chest or the rear carriage chest, and it's- we think it's a lovely chest and we think it's a bargain.

CHARLES HANSON: Marked GNR, Great Northern Railway.

- Great Northern Railway.

- It was 10 pounds.

Cheap.

JOHNNY BALL: It was 10 quid.

10 quid, wow.

JOHNNY BALL: This is wonderful.

This is an eight-pronged hedge trimmer which you can do that-- Oh, that's clever.

Or you can do like that.

And isn't that lovely?

Now, to go with that because it's part of the same lot is another slicer.

TIM WONNACOTT: Cutting devices in one lot.

Sharp thinking.

And that is for what?

That's for slicing beans?

Incorrect.

Close but incorrect.

Marmalade slicer.

Marmalade!

That's what it is.

Gordon Ramsay would snap that up.

We do like these jugs because they are beautiful.

I think they're awful.

CHARLES HANSON: John Craven, look at the jugs!

TIM WONNACOTT: He's not like this on "Countryfile."

CHARLES HANSON: These are Bretby, John.

They're 1930s.

They're art deco.

Look at the exterior feel about them.

They've got that country look, John.

They've got the bees and they're-- - There's a lot going for them.

- They're great.

JOHN CRAVEN: Silver buttons?

JOHNNY BALL: So in terms of the value, yes.

But about George III.

Yeah.

CHARLES HANSON: They're quite early ones.

JOHNNY BALL: Perhaps George II.

PHIL SERRELL: They're nice, aren't they?

Along with this-- and you know what that is?

- That's a cigarette lighter.

- Shark skin.

JOHNNY BALL: Shark skin.

That is sharkskin.

JOHN CRAVEN: How can that be connected with some Georgian silver buttons?

We bought them at the same time.

Yeah.

TIM WONNACOTT: Don't look for logic in it, chaps.

Now your turn.

3, 2, 1, go.

- Here we go.

- Oh wow.

JOHN CRAVEN: Hey ho!

How about all that.

This is-- this is a grain measure.

A grain measure.

A grain measure from about 1880.

Our mirror, which is sort of William IV, regency, bell push moldings.

CHARLES HANSON: Has a great color fill.

Love the pilasters as well.

25 quid.

Cheap.

PHIL SERRELL: There's an arts and crafts panel there.

CHARLES HANSON: Oh wow.

PHIL SERRELL: Which was 30 pounds.

CHARLES HANSON: Wow.

- 30 pounds.

That is beautiful.

- She is just-- JOHNNY BALL: Oh, that is gorgeous.

Just gorgeous.

And this is probably the most unusual thing of the lot.

This is from a 1930s sea plane.

JOHNNY BALL: Wow.

And it is a little shelf, you know, to put your drinks on by the side of your chair.

That's a propeller from the sea plane, and all these little bits are from the cowlings of the sea plane.

It cost you how much?

- 80 quid.

- What a wonderful buy.

80.

There is, however, one more item.

Just have a look at this then.

Because we bought these two staddle stone bases here.

- Oh, they're nice.

- Portland stone.

That high.

In a farmyard.

JOHNNY BALL: They must be-- I mean, they went out with modern farming.

How much, Philip?

75 quid.

I think you've done really well, and I think we've all together bought some good things, haven't we?

- Absolutely.

Nothing predictable really.

TIM WONNACOTT: But what did they really think?

There's not a lot of stuff on their little table that I would like.

I love that little propeller stand, don't you?

JOHNNY BALL: Yeah.

The hedge trimmer, that was fun.

They're fun, aren't they?

JOHN CRAVEN: They're fun.

PHIL SERRELL: They're fun.

But overall, I'd rather have our money invested in our items and their money invested in theirs.

Who am I behind?

Team Ball.

Whoa.

I think that's great.

And I think we're going to slaughter them at the auction.

Yeah, exactly.

TIM WONNACOTT: Yeah.

After starting out in Hampshire at Ringwood, our celebrities and experts will now motor up to Oxfordshire for an auction at Watlington.

JOHN CRAVEN: Big day, Johnny.

How are you feeling?

I think we might make three or four pounds.

Maybe add a couple of noughts on that.

JOHNNY BALL: Oh, that'd be lovely if we do it.

Look at this region we're driving through now.

Those stone ornaments are made for maybe an entrance to a nice front door, made for a gateway like here.

Wonderful.

Or they're great ram-raiding posts.

What?

TIM WONNACOTT: Uh, thanks, Charles.

Welcome to Jones where we're online this morning.

JOHN CRAVEN: Tension mounts.

TIM WONNACOTT: I wonder what auctioneer Simon Jones makes of their rather large collection.

There's the staddle stone bases.

Now, they're just remarkable.

They're a bit big and it would be nice to have had four so you could have propped a whole barn up rather than just half a barn.

Then there's also the nice set of early silver buttons and the shagreen lighter.

People like that sort of thing round here so we should do quite well with those.

There's a lovely table made out of bits of an old flying boat, which are really interesting.

Only wish we knew which sort of flying boat it was.

TIM WONNACOTT: Johnny and Charles bought six auction lots for a total of just 195 pounds while John and Phil spent 275 pounds on their six lots.

JOHN CRAVEN: This is quite a place, isn't it?

TIM WONNACOTT: Please take your seats, fellas.

Oh, this is comfy.

Might never get up from here.

This beats a hardback chair, doesn't it, for several hours.

We've just popped in to see what's going on.

Ta da!

TIM WONNACOTT: On that note, let's start with Johnny's Bretby jugs.

40 to 60 pounds estimate.

Glug glug.

CHARLES HANSON: And it cost us 35.

That's a good start.

- Shh.

- Sorry, sorry.

And they were very cheap.

Sorry.

And what can we say for those?

40 to 50 pounds.

30 to start me.

30 pounds or 20 pounds for Bretby.

15 to start.

Dear, oh dear, you are a tight lot.

There are two.

There are two.

Yes, we have got two.

30 pounds.

20 pounds.

10 then to go.

Oh dear, somebody must buy them for 10.

They've got to go.

I can't go down any lower.

Five then.

TIM WONNACOTT: Oh yes he can.

SIMON JONES: Five I'm bid.

I don't like them.

SIMON JONES: Eight.

10 pounds.

At eight pounds then.

Sorry.

TIM WONNACOTT: Not an auspicious start for those two.

I don't know what you think, John, that's really terribly sad, isn't it?

JOHN CRAVEN: Well, that's a bad start, isn't it?

It's not-- doesn't all go well.

Well, it depends on your perspective.

It's quite a good start for us.

It's good for us.

TIM WONNACOTT: Perhaps their will Steiff critters will wipe that smile off Phil's face.

50 pounds.

30 then start me for the piglet and pieces.

20 to go.

Steiff.

15.

15 I'm bid.

18 anywhere.

18.

20.

20 I'm bid.

20.

22.

At 20 pounds then.

You all happy at 20?

Nobody seems to want to Steiff.

At 20 pounds then.

Done at 20.

Cheaper than twice the price.

- We've been done.

He's right.

We've been done.

You've done very well though, Johnny.

TIM WONNACOTT: They don't seem all that bothered.

I thought Watlington would have been more discerning.

Precisely.

That's what they are.

TIM WONNACOTT: John and Phil's turn.

Mandolin.

50 pounds.

30 then to start me.

30 pounds I'm bid.

Yes.

SIMON JONES: 32 anywhere.

For 32.

34.

For 34 pounds.

36.

34 pounds then.

You all happy at 34?

Standing by the door.

34.

That's a loss.

SIMON JONES: All done at 34.

Oh dear.

TIM WONNACOTT: Not quite as bad as the previous losses though.

Next, will one of John's country lots appeal?

30, 40 pounds for it.

20 start me then.

15 I'm bid.

18 anywhere.

At 15 pounds.

Then you all happy at 15?

All done then.

At 15.

Goodness me.

Don't believe it.

I believe it.

TIM WONNACOTT: Blimey, John and Phil have lost less so far, but they've staked 80 pounds more.

You know in the car this morning you said that we were-- that this was all about the highs and the lows?

Yes.

Can I just ask when will the highs be coming?

Never.

Oh right.

TIM WONNACOTT: Time for some items Johnny was especially passionate about.

Let's get back in the game, Johnny Ball.

Let's get back in the game, OK?

Don't tell him it's us.

TIM WONNACOTT: Most celebrities aren't shy about that, Johnny.

What can we say for those?

30, 40 pounds.

20 then.

Start me.

20 pounds I'm bid.

22 anywhere before I go to the phone.

What?

Coming to you now at 22.

Yep, 24 with me.

26.

28.

30 with you.

30 pounds.

It's on the telephone.

It's against you all in the room at 30 pounds.

All done.

Ah.

Good buy.

I mean goodbye.

TIM WONNACOTT: On the bright side, it's their smallest loss yet.

Anyway, what happens on this program is that we go out and buy things and make money at an auction.

That's the way it works.

Yeah.

How come it's not working?

Ah, we've all got the first bit all right.

TIM WONNACOTT: John's quite excited about his discovery.

Perhaps a bit overexcited.

SIMON JONES: Anywhere at 250.

TIM WONNACOTT: Hang on, John.

This isn't it.

250.

Wow.

Well done.

No, it's not us.

Well, we lost it.

Well done.

Is that not ours?

It's 250.

Oh, I thought that was ours.

Oh, here it comes now.

Now for reality.

What shall I say for that?

80, 90 pounds.

MAN: 90.

SIMON JONES: 90 I'm bid.

Oh, get in.

[INAUDIBLE] 90 pounds then.

95.

100.

120.

130.

140.

At 130 then.

Behind me at 130.

All done at 130.

Wow.

Well, that's something, isn't it?

A result.

Not quite as good as your 250, John, but it'll do.

Yes.

TIM WONNACOTT: It certainly will.

A proper profit at last.

This fire screen's one of John's too.

Standby.

40, 50 pounds for this.

Dear, oh dear, you are a tight lot.

30 then to start me.

30 I'm bid.

32.

34.

At 32 pounds then.

34 anywhere?

At 32 pounds.

All done.

At 32.

That's profit, isn't it?

TIM WONNACOTT: Maybe so, but John and Phil are still in the lead and it's about time that Johnny and Charles made a good call.

They're complete, original.

You could have them in the drawing room to call Mrs. Hanson, couldn't you?

Absolutely.

40 pounds for them.

Come on.

SIMON JONES: 20 then to start me.

20 pounds I'm bid.

22 anywhere?

You all happy at 20?

All done at 20 for the two telephones.

22.

24.

22 pounds then.

Standing by the door at 22.

All done at 22.

I've already got mine at 22 pounds.

22.

Oh.

TIM WONNACOTT: Whatever Watlington wants, our chaps can't supply, it seems.

What is all this doing for your reputations?

We've never had a reputation.

What reputation?

He's seen this program before.

TIM WONNACOTT: It was purchased against Mrs. Craven's advice, but can the mirror succeed?

A bit anxious.

No, your mirror will be-- will be fine.

What, you mean like all the other things were going to be fine?

No, this is solid.

This is a solid Victorian antique.

TIM WONNACOTT: Hold it up a bit up, love.

This ought to make 60 pounds.

90 I'm bid.

95.

- Brilliant.

90 pounds then.

With Alan at 90 pounds.

For the wall mirror at 90.

That's wonderful.

All done at 90 with Alan.

Good.

TIM WONNACOTT: Yeah, big hand, Phil.

An expert comes up trumps.

Now, Johnny wasn't keen, but Charles insisted they bought this box.

SIMON JONES: 20 then to start me.

Dear, oh dear.

Nobody into railway, et ceteras?

Oh.

SIMON JONES: 15 then to go.

- Oh, it's painful.

SIMON JONES: Got to sell it.

15 for it.

Somebody must buy it for 15. Who likes to buy unusual things?

This is nice and unusual.

Zilch.

Zilch.

15 to go.

10 then to go.

10 I'm bid.

12 anywhere?

At 10 pounds then.

You're all happy at 10?

Highly disappointed in the city I'll wager.

10 pounds then.

All done at 10.

You more or less broke even.

TIM WONNACOTT: Yep, it's a minor triumph really.

I'm disappointed, Johnny.

I'm sorry about this, Johnny.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

No.

TIM WONNACOTT: Well, look at those then.

John and Phil fell in love with them, and if they don't make a loss, they'll almost certainly have won.

Could you hold them up please?

Imogen didn't have quite enough Shreddies for that this morning.

80, 90 pounds.

Start me for them.

- 85.

SIMON JONES: 85.

- Oh brilliant.

90.

95 with you.

95 I'm bid.

100.

100.

110.

At 100 pounds then.

You all done at one.

All done at one.

Well done.

TIM WONNACOTT: They'd grace any stone henge, I'd say.

Now for Johnny and Charles's lighter and buttons.

Can they finally turn a profit?

You should double your money, shouldn't you?

I hope so.

I hope so.

We need a good ending.

Easy peasy.

We need a happy ending.

Yes.

I'm taking [INAUDIBLE] End on a high.

SIMON JONES: 50, 60 pounds for them.

Come on.

40 then to start me.

30 to go.

20 then.

20 pounds I'm bid.

22 anywhere.

You all happy at 20?

All done at 20 for the four buttons.

Oh my gosh.

All done at 20.

TIM WONNACOTT: So with that last staggering disappointment we'll take our leave.

I think the result's pretty clear.

Johnny and Charles began with 400 pounds, and after paying auction costs they made a loss of 104 pounds and 80p, leaving them with 295 pounds and 20p.

Whilst John and Phil who also started out with 400 pounds made-- after paying auction costs-- a profit of 53 pounds and 82p, so they are today's top team with 453 pounds and 82p, and all profits go to Children In Need.

JOHN CRAVEN: You win some, you lose some, don't you?

JOHNNY BALL: Uh, no, I lose them all.

Johnny, great to see you again.

Oh, it was great fun.

It was great fun.

Smashing, Charlie.

I've never enjoyed wasting money so, so, so much.

We've still got this car for a little while.

We have.

CHARLES HANSON: Drive carefully.

JOHNNY BALL: Well, I can't promise that.

JOHN CRAVEN: That was quite an event, wasn't it?

We really enjoyed the trip, didn't we?

JOHNNY BALL: Oh, I loved it.

I loved it and the cars.

I mean, this [INAUDIBLE] is just so [INAUDIBLE] JOHN CRAVEN: It was worth it for this alone.

JOHNNY BALL: Yeah.

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